Ok here's my update:

• I'm learning to play the guitar. This makes me extremely happy. It turns out that I will be bringing it with me to Utah, hopefully. Maybe Lindsay and Brian could teach me a lil' somethin??? Love you guys.
• I have a new baby nephew. Cutest thing ever. I'm so scared to start having kids. All the kids I will have I will compare to my niece and nephews. What if mine aren't cute??? lol.
• I signed up to sell scrapbook stuffage for a company called "I Remember When..." It should be fun. We'll have scrapbooking parties for sure.
• I've spent the last three days hanging out with my boyfriends family in Oklahoma City. It was the most fun I've had in a while. Nathan and I bonded, too. That scares me a little bit. I don't really want to share all my feelings about this in the blog. It's kind of personal. But, if you want to know, we can talk.
• I haven't talked to Brandon in forever. I'm sure he's upset with me. Again...kinda personal.
• I am ready for school to start.
• I changed my major and for once I feel completely comfortable with my decision. I decided to major in MFHD and minor in English Teaching. It's quite a few less credit hours, which makes me smile. *shrug* I feel good about it...
• That's all..

<3 Bekah

If there is anything I have learned these past 19 years, it is that home is not a place for me. It has never really been a place. Home for me is not an address, nor city, and not even a state. It is not a certain house, with a particular bathroom or bedroom. It does not include my bed or my desk. Home to me is just simply not a "where." My home consists of people. My home is my parents. My home is my family. My home is friends. How grateful I am for all of these things in my life. How grateful I am that I have not needed to call a certain place home. That for me, home means something much deeper. And for me, home can change. (As it has, many, many times.) So, I can honestly say that I am looking forward to leaving my home here in Oklahoma and traveling to my home in Utah, where I can be with my lovely friends. Strangely enough I will miss this place that I have added to my long list of places of residence. But, I will adjust and quickly learn to call Utah my home again. It will be an fast transition, only because my home is already there. My friends are home, and home is where the heart is.

Ok so I haven't figured out how to put pictures directly into my blog, yet. But, you can click on the link below to view my hair cut, if you're interested of course. I chopped off 6 inches! GEEESH!! What was i thinking?!?! It's never ever ever been this short. Ever.
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So I realized that the only thing of substance I ever blog about is all of the boy trouble I'm experiencing. This probably seems so shallow to most, but it really is most of what consumes my life right now. Here is the whole story, with no parts left out. (And just for the record, I hate the fact that I'm leaking most everything in here...but what can one do. I'm desperate for some friendly advice.)

Here goes nothing: I am totally confused as to what my heart is telling me right now. I care very deeply for a boy who lives in Indiana. See, the plan at the beginning of the summer was for Brandon to come out to BYU in the fall and we would basically be together...for as long as we needed to be. It would be wonderful if the story ended there, but it doesn't...

I never expected to meet anyone in Oklahoma, let alone anyone who would be dateable back at BYU, too. But of course I did. So, Nathan and I have been dating for 3 months now which is almost the entire time I've been here. It was absolutely wonderful in the beginning. All fun, no drama, which is how I prefer things because I tend to gravitate towards drama. (Don't ask.)  In the beginning we really got along quite well. Now, however, I'm somewhat confused. You see, we disagree on almost all subjects. Ex.: I'm a feminist but he thinks there are things women shouldn't do in this world. I'm always on time, and if I'm not I will call, but he is never on time, and never ever calls. I want to encourage my children to reach for the stars and be what they want to be, but he thinks that's bogus. These are just a few examples, there are many, many more. All of this aside, I can't stop thinking about him. He drives me crazy and we disagree on everything, yet my heart still skips a beat when I see his number flashing on my phone. I still continue to do my hair the way he likes it, just so he will tell me he likes it when I wear my hair that way. It's total madness! We're wrong for each other for all the right reasons. And now I don'tknow what to do. I'm afraid of what will happen when I go back to school in the Fall. I know that Brandon and I need a chance to have some sort of relationship, but I'm also scared of losing Nathan by having that relationship with Brandon. I keep trying to tell myself to take it one day at a time, but at the same time, don't I need to make some sort of decision? Or can I just keep going like this? Carrying on relationships with two different guys...Is that even possible?

So, that's my love life in a nutshell right now. One beat-up, mixed-up, scarred, battered, lonely, nutshell... 

• One of my friends from my first high school died in a car accident. His name is Rick Girod, and we actually dated for a while when I was a sophomore. He was a wonderful guy, completely full of personality. He was actually best friends with Corey, the guy I knew that committed suicide...That poor town is in turmoil. The person I feel for the most in all of this is Rick's girlfriend, Abby. She and I were super close when I lived there, and when I left there her and Rick started dating. They have been dating for the past two years and things were going really well. They were/are really in love. So I guess Ab was going through his room with his mom after he died and she stumbled upon an engagement ring. Yeah, he was going to propose. She ended up wearing it to the funeral...
• My guy situation...well if you really want to know, email me. It's dramatic, as usual, and I'd rather not publish everything for all to see...
• I can't use my cell phone...and haven't been able to for a long time. That is why I can't call you guys. My parents are sort of freaking out about how much the bill is going to be...and I don't want to add to their stress. So, I'm not using my phone. Also, I was supposed to get my wisdom teeth out, but due to my dad's sucky job and insurance, I can't. Go figure. I'm not even living at home, but the fact that my parents are struggling to make it still weighs on my mind constantly. Why can't their lives just be easy for a week?
• Do you ever just want to cry? For no reason at all? lol This is so ridiculous...

Well, I'm out. Sorry I don't update this thing very often. I'm no good at "blogging".

I have a new hobby. Roommate, you will enjoy this. I am absolutely hooked on scrapbooking. It is something I never really thought I could do, because I am not very creative. However, I recently decided that I need to do something with all of my pictures and my sister gave me a whole bunch of stuff to start. Now, I'm addicted. AHH!! It is actually way good for me. It helps me to relax a little bit. So, I'm thinking that this will be a fun thing to do at school when I'm stressed and whatnot. Scrapbooking parties, anyone???

Let's see...what else....um...HAHA! I'm such a loser. That's seriously it.